Elsie+Lock+2011

__Monday 13th June__

The amazing duck

Target - Next Steps Punctuation, your first paragraph as no full stops & doesn’t make sense. Try adding description to your writing by starting some sentences with an action verb e.g. “Flapping ferociously Albert managed” or “Sitting on the pond waiting for the dogs ...”

Once upon a time Albert was minding his own business one day when these people started shooting at him so he flew off and went from pond to pond trying to find a pond where there were no duck shooters that would shoot him.

Eventually he landed on a pond that he thought had no duck shooters, But he was wrong he was sitting on the pond when these duck shooters started shooting there shot guns at him, BOOOOM, BOOOOM, BOOOOM, BOOOOM, BOOOOM. Flapping ferociously Albert just managed to get away, but he had taken a pellet to the wing. He then fell back into the pond and swam into the rapoo. He then made a nest and became very comfortable. Until the duck shooters sent a dog in to get him he sat tight until the dog was just in front of him then took off and took six pellets to the wings he then fell into the pond and swam into the rapoo again and went back to his nest.

Albert wasn’t feeling good he was sore all over and couldn’t move but he figured it was from being shot and being tired from all the flying. He didn’t want to die so he fled as soon as the duck shooters got in there truck to go home so they couldn’t shoot at him. He didn’t want risk getting shot he thought one more pellet would kill him. When he was way away from the pond, he soon got tired and had to land some where, but where he thought to himself and soon after he spotted a field filled up with long grass. So if he landed there he would be able to hide if anyone came out to try and shoot him. When he landed he went straight into the long grass to hide but what he didn’t know was that there was a hunter that had seen him landing and had grabbed his gun and was heading out to shoot him.

Albert didn’t hear or see him coming so the hunter was able to get close enough to shoot him and just as the hunter raised his gun to his shoulder Albert saw him and ducked as low as he could then BOOOOOOM he felt a sudden pain in his back he jumped and tried to fly away but he couldn’t he looked at his back and he saw lot’s of blood he then fainted he then nether woke up. He went into a coma and never woke.

__Thursday 9 June__

The amazing duck

Target - Next Steps Punctuation, your first paragraph as no full stops & doesn’t make sense. Try adding description to your writing by starting some sentences with an action verb e.g. “Flapping ferociously Albert managed” or “Sitting on the pond waiting for the dogs ...”

Once upon a time Albert was minding his own business one day when these people started shooting at him so he flew off and went from pond to pond trying to find a pond where there were no duck shooters that would shoot him.

Eventually he landed on a pond that he thought had no duck shooters, But he was wrong he was sitting on the pond when these duck shooters started shooting there shot guns at him, BOOOOM, BOOOOM, BOOOOM, BOOOOM, BOOOOM. Albert just managed to get away, but he had taken a pellet to the wing. He then fell back into the pond and swam into the rapoo. He then made a nest and became very comfortable. Until the duck shooters sent a dog in to get him he sat tight until the dog was just in front of him then took off and took six pellets to the wings he then fell into the pond and swam into the rapoo again and went back to his nest.

Albert wasn’t feeling good he was sore all over and couldn’t move but he figured it was from being shot and being tired from all the flying. He didn’t want to die so he fled as soon as the duck shooters got in there truck to go home so they couldn’t shoot at him. He didn’t want risk getting shot he thought one more pellet would kill him. When he was way away from the pond, he soon got tired and had to land some where, but where he thought to himself and soon after he spotted a field filled up with long grass. So if he landed there he would be able to hide if anyone came out to try and shoot him. When he landed he went straight into the long grass to hide but what he didn’t know was that there was a hunter that had seen him landing and had grabbed his gun and was heading out to shoot him.

Albert didn’t hear or see him coming so the hunter was able to get close enough to shoot him and just as the hunter raised his gun to his shoulder Albert saw him and ducked as low as he could then BOOOOOOM he felt a sudden pain in his back he jumped and tried to fly away but he couldn’t he looked at his back and he saw lot’s of blood he then fainted he woke to find himself hanging upside down

__Friday 20 may__

The amazing duck

Once upon a time albert was minding his own business one day when these people started shooting at him so as usual he flew off and went from pond to pond trying to find a place where there were no duck shooters.

Eventually he landed on a pond that he thought had no duck shooters, But he was wrong he was sitting on the pond when james the duck shooter started shooting his shot gun at him, BOOOOM, BOOOOM, BOOOOM, BOOOOM, BOOOOM.

Albert just managed to get away, but he had taken a pellet to the wing. He then found a pond that people had been shooting on but he was tired so he landed on the pond and swam into the rapoo. He then made a nest and became very comfortable. Until the duck shooters sent a dog in to get him he sat tight until the dog was just in front of him then took off and took six pellets to the wings he then fell into the pond and swam into the rapoo again and went back to his nest.

Albert wasn’t feeling good he was sore all over and couldn’t move but he figured he was just tired from all the flying. Just as he woke up he saw his brother sam coming he flew in and luckily he was out of rang of the duck shooters.

__Wednesday 18 may__

The amazing duck

Once upon a time there was a duck named albert he was a very young duck who liked to explore. He was also very brave and one year he had to be so brave he almost died. Let me tell it to you.

Albert was minding his own business one day when these people started shooting at him so as usual he flew off and went from pond to pond trying to find a place where there were no duck shooters.

Eventually he landed on a pond that he thought had no duck shooters, But he was wrong he was sitting on the pond when james started started shooting his shot gun at him, BOOOOM, BOOOOM, BOOOOM, BOOOOM, BOOOOM.

Albert just managed to get away only with a pellet to the wing. But he still managed to get away. He then found a pond that people had been shooting on but he was tired so he landed on the pond and swam into the rapoo.

﻿Joe your story is very interesting but it was hard for me to read because of the punctuation and some parts made no sense such as Albert was mining his own business. Ramon

__Thursday 12th May__

The amazing duck

plot: A duck has to go from pond to pond and avoid being shot by the duck shooters. In the end it is shot and then tiny aliens come out and ties up the hunters and then start to build there ship to get away aka the duck.

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">main characters: james/duck shooter good at shooting and a good farmer. peter/duck shooter city person likes shooting and brave also interested in the animals that live on the farm. Duck likes to explore. Good at dodging bullets.

<span style="font: normal normal normal 12px/normal Helvetica; letter-spacing: 0px; margin: 0px;">Once upon a time there was a duck named albert he was a very young duck who liked to explore. One time